Public Transportation

I normally don't blog two days in a row but I thought I make it as an exception this time. It has come to my attention that the people around me are in discontent. I can feel a disturbance in the force. Most of these problems I would say are self inflicted but we have to face the fact that hey, sometimes, we are just at the wrong place, doing the wrong thing, at the wrong time.

But then, just saying it is never enough, because now we have to face the forgiveness issue. True to ego, mankind (this is for genders btw) has always had a difficult time forgiving other people. It strikes me as strange how this could happen. Then I discovered why. Yesterday, on my way back from Lumut, I decided to not rely on my friends and take the 'reverred' Malaysian public form of transportation home - The LRT. I have always had this fear of everything public (toilets, busstops, police station, hospitals and the list goes on and on) but I wanted to see whether or not the 'Team building' training I did in Lumut had an impact on my self esteem. So I went to the ticket booth, inquired for a ticket to KL central and the guy behind the glass said in a cold voice "Return or one way" - so I said "one way" in a matter of-fact tone. Then, I went to the "ticket-inserting-and it will come out-so you can walk through-thing" and accidentally walked through the wrong way. Therefore, the sliding door thing won't open. Embarrassed, I went back to the ticket booth and told the guy the problem. In a stern face he instructed me; like a teacher would to a kindergarten student; to look at how other people did it and mentioned that that's what I had to do. My temper raged, and if it were not for the fact that I was too tired, I would have spitted in his face and say "This is how I'm gonna do it, so fuck you, you degenerate underachieving low-life!".

I took the ticket, said "Thank you, you've been very helpful" in a polite manner and walked away. I knew that there is no way that I could've done that and I immediately believe that I was not in character. The usual me would have come up with some sarcastic thing to say or at the very least, gave him a 'funny look'.

I could never forgive him of course, because he has not asked for forgiveness and therefore he wasn't looking for any. He did it on purpose and his whole intention was to hurt my feelings. So, what about the people who were "at the wrong place, doing the wrong things, at the wrong time"? They definitely did not do what they did it on purpose or to hurt other people's feelings. Yet, if you ask them, it would be the furthest thing from their mind. Like a boy breaking his mother's ming vase, or a girlfriend turning up late for a date, these things are not done conciously. So why do some people feel that forgiveness is a God given 'power' to them? They won't grant forgiveness until aa certain criteria is met, or until they actually feel like it. Forgiveness should be an unconcious reaction, something that you do in spite of whatever. It should be like eating when you're hungry, sleeping when you're sleepy and living because you're alive. If a forgiveness is asked, it should be granted. Its the only way for porblems to get themselves solved. Neh? :>

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